I recently received a question that I believe we can all benefit to hear the answer on.
“How do you manage being a business owner AND a mom of two littles?”
My response was fairly blunt, but truthful:
“I cry a lot, see a therapist, and spend a bagillion dollars a month in childcare.”
Okay, I suppose a “bagillion” isn’t entirely truthful, but the daycare parents out there know that it certainly feels that way.
When I shared this response online, I was met with overwhelming support (not to my surprise – as my little corner of the internet is always quite kind and supportive). What was surprising to me though, were the messages thanking me for my transparency and openness about therapy.
If I’m being honest, it felt weird to be thanked for sharing something (like seeking therapy) that never seemed like a “big deal” to me. I know mental health support is often stigmatized, but I suppose I’ve never understood why. Perhaps it’s because I’m the daughter of a Licensed Psychotherapist (and a damn good one to our LVLTN clients I might add). I suspect that the “stigma” around therapy never seemed relevant to me in the sense that prioritizing mental health was such a common / natural part of my upbringing.
Nevertheless, your Dad can’t be your therapist forever – even though I surely got away with it for the first 30 years of my life. And while I’m only about two months into this mental health support journey, I’m learning a lot and I’m finding my sessions wildly helpful thus far.
A Game-Changer: The Opposite Action Technique
In today’s post, I’d like to share some of what I’ve been learning about and implementing with my therapist, Marcy.
In our latest session, we spoke about the Opposite Action Technique – an evidence-based therapeutic tool shown to be effective for emotional regulation, interpersonal challenges, and promoting healthier behavioral responses.
This technique encourages us to act in the opposite manner than our mind and body initially tells us to. In other words, whatever your response to frustration, anxiety, anger, etc. typically is – try responding to this feeling or situation with the opposite action.
Some Examples:
- Anger: When you’re feeling intense anger, rather than acting aggressively, use an opposite action to approach the situation calmly and assertively.
- Anxiety: When you’re overwhelmed with anxiety, use an opposite action like courage and confidence to face your fears instead of avoiding them and/or letting them consume you.
- Sadness: If you're feeling upset and your initial response is to shut down and isolate yourself, try using an opposite action like reaching out to a friend or engaging in activities that help you feel more connected to others.
Easier Said Than Done
Sounds hard, doesn’t it?
Doing the OPPOSITE of how you’ve always felt called to respond to something is way easier said than done. But doing so encourages you to pause, reflect, and choose actions that align with your long-term goals rather than giving into your more impulsive and emotional responses that may feel more comfortable in the moment.
Not only have I been working to implement this tool across entrepreneurship, motherhood, and marriage, but this tool has also allowed me to heavily reflect on our clients at LVLTN, their efforts to succeed, and our efforts to support them.
Applying Opposite Action to Health and Fitness
When it comes to health and fitness, our initial actions often reflect the EASIER choice:
- It’s easier to choose Netflix over a late-night training session.
- It’s easier to hit snooze than it is to hit the gym before work.
- It’s easier to choose takeout over a home-cooked meal.
- It’s easier to scroll TikTok over choosing an early bedtime.
But it’s rare that the “easy choice” is most aligned with our long-term goals.
Instead of yelling…
Instead of skipping your workout…
Instead of getting angry…
Instead of throwing back alcohol when you’re stressed…
What opposite actions could you implement that would better your health, your relationships, and perhaps your work?
Growth Comes From Discomfort
Achieving long-term goals often requires short-term discomfort… like choosing the “less easy” option or the opposite action.
Breaking habitual patterns of emotions and behaviors can be incredibly challenging. But our go-to actions and responses can be reshaped over time. For me, this has been an eye-opening gateway to personal growth.
One Final Question
So, I leave you with one question…
Where can YOU implement the Opposite Action Technique to improve YOUR health, relationships, fitness, and overall well-being?
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