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You’re not struggling because you don’t know what to do. And it’s not because you lack access to endless plans, programs, or options.
You start off strong on Monday. You have the week mapped out. You just need the willpower to say no to the foods, the distractions, the excuses and stay on track. But then Thursday comes, life happens, you have to pivot, someone says something that makes you question your decisions, or you have a social event this weekend and you don’t want to say no to it all. You’re stuck, so you say screw it. I’ll start again on Monday.
What if the reason you keep starting over isn’t a lack of motivation… but a mismatch between your goals and who you believe you are?
Outcome Goals vs. Identity Goals
You set goals based on an outcome right?
- I want to workout 4x a week
- I want to lose 20 pounds
- I want to eat better
These are great starting points, but have you considered who you need to become to reach them?
Pairing outcome based goals with identity based goals is essential for sustainable health.
- I am someone who prioritizes movement
- I am someone who nourishes their body
- I am consistent even when its messy
All of those are shifting the focus from what you are doing to WHO you are.
If you believe that you will always be someone who (insert negative self-talk) then that will always be a part of who you are.
Your words impact your actions.
Your identity will survive the imperfect days and make decisions easier.
When you know who you are, choices require less debate and allow humanity to come in.
Instead of “should I workout today?” it becomes…
“What does someone who prioritizes movement do?”
What Identity-Based Consistency Looks Like
Someone who is consistent
- Misses a workout.
- Still sees themself as consistent.
- Shows up the next day.
That’s powerful. That’s not the start and stop cycle you have been stuck in.
How to Start Shifting Your Identity
Step 1: Define the person you want to Become
Ask yourself:
How does she/he think?
What does she/he prioritize?
How does she/he respond when she/he misses a day?
Step 2: Choose 1–2 Keystone Behaviors
Not 10.
Not a complete overhaul.
Examples:
Protein at every meal.
3 strength workouts per week.
10-minute daily walk.
Bed by 10:30.
Step 3: Collect Evidence
Every time you act in alignment, say:
“This is what I do now.”
Even if it’s small.
You’re building proof.
At first, it may feel fake. That’s normal.
But no one becomes someone new overnight.
Identity is built through repetition.
You don’t become confident and then act.
You act, and confidence follows.
What This Is Not About
This isn’t about:
- Shrinking your body.
- Earning food.
- Punishing yourself.
It’s about becoming someone who ______.
- Keeps promises to herself.
- Moves her body because she values it.
- Makes decisions from self-respect instead of guilt.
- Shows up even when it isn’t perfect.
The Real Question
Who do you need to become to reach the health goals you have?
what is one small behavior that version of you would practice this week?
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